A life thats normal, thats way to far away
by CrazyIKnowICanDo
Summary: The story of next to normal, without the singing, looking deeper into scenes and scenes we did not see. It's not as dull as i just made it sound! PLEASE REVIEW!  Sorry it is taking me a while, i am busy at the moment
1. Chapter 1

**This story is based on Next To Normal (I DO NOT OWN NEXT TO NORMAL, UNFORTUNATELY!) and i am basically telling the story without the music, as well as going into further detail, describing scenes we didn't see, especially between Henry and Natalie. It is a bit rough at the moment, but i have some ideas for the story as it develops, so please be kind. Thanks for reading.**

Something next to normal, that's way to far away...

It was 3 am on a monday morning. A women with messy red hair was rocking in a chair drifting in and out of sleep, all alone, in the dark in the living room. Her eyelids slowly closed and opened, gazing at the family pictures that were displayed on the mantel piece. Her eyes wondered across to the wedding picture. She was so young and beautiful back then, then across to the picture of a chubby little girl being held by the man she had married. Her eyes drifted across these pictures, whilst falling in and out of consciousness. Diana Goodman slowly lifted a picture she had been holding in her hand of a small baby boy sleeping. No emotion crossed her face as she held the photo sleepily. She slowly tucked the photo in her dressing gown pocket and gazed into space, half asleep, until she heard a click.

"It's about time" She said sleepily, with a smile spreading across her face. "I've been waiting up for you and your in trouble"

No hint of anger crossed Diana's face as the boy walked towards her.

"Sorry….You know you don't have to do this. Stay up for me. I am almost 18 mom." The teenage boy said smiling.

Diana looked at her son. He was almost a man. Where had all the time gone? She found it hard to discipline him at times like this, him standing there so tall. He was growing up and he would not be hers forever. He was the best child a mother could ask for, not just her son, but her best friend. She straightened up in her chair, no hint of exhaustion crossing her face and said;

"I have been waiting up for you because…..Mothers worry Gabe. You told me you would be home by 11 and you lied to me. No phone call, no text, its unacceptable and immature"

Diana studied his face. A hint of a smile crossed Gabes face. Diana never got angry with him. A sense of guilt rushed through him, seeing his mother so worried and on edge. The smirk vanished.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again"

"Diana? What are you still doing up?"

Diana and Gabe froze. Diana straightened up and got out of her chair, pulling her robe tighter around her.

"Your not going to tell him are you….He already hates me"

"He doesn't hate you, you are just a pain in the ass. And no. Go out the back way, be quiet"

"Ok, I love you mom….And i'm sorry"

Gabe kissed his mothers cheek and disappeared.

Dan Goodman walked into the sitting room where Diana picked up her books from the table, attempting to make herself look busy. Dan calmly walked in the room, smiling at his wife. She had bags under her eyes, her red hair was strung all over her face, but she still looked beautiful to him. He weakly smiled.

"I was talking to myself, You know how i am. These game show repeats were on and i get carried away…I'm pretty sure i could win one of those things now" Diana said with a yawn. Dan nodded and edged out the door.

"You go ahead, I'll be up stairs in a minute" Diana told Dan. He smiled and sleepily walked back up stairs, not noticing his teenage daughter running past him.

Even with bags under her eyes, Bed head frizzy hair and bloodshot eyes, just like her mother, Natalie was beautiful. She threw her books down on the kitchen table and opened the fridge pulling out three soda cans and sat down. Her eyes frantically opened the books and studied there pages. It was late and Natalie had gotten to the point where words didn't mean anything anymore, but that didn't stop her. Diana peered round the door, watching as her daughter frantically turned pages in between taking gulps of soda.

Diana, slowly walked into the kitchen and closed the book Natalie had begun reading.

"What are you doing? Do you know what time it is"

"Yes, but i have 3 Calculus test, a quiz on floral imagery.."

"Just.." Diana cut Natalie off,a hint of frustration in her voice "It's gone three. Nows not the time. Go to bed. Your a smart girl, studying at night…Not so smart."

Natalie froze, looking up at her mother dumbfounded. She looked away re-opening her book, until Diana turned the light off.

"Take some time for yourself, i'm going to go….Spend some time with your father" Natalie cringed and ran upstairs, closing her door.

Natalie slammed her door and crawled into bed. She reached for her ipod and put Mozart on as loud as she could and rested her head on the pillow. Natalie paid careful attention to every note being played drowning out the thoughts of her mother and homework until tiredness won her over making her fall asleep with her head phones on. The music eventually stopped and Natalie shot up wide awake. The battery had died on her Ipod and she had woken up to the sound of piercing ring.

"Good Morning Sunshine!" Diana heard her sun shout to Natalie.

Dan walked out of the bathroom having just got dressed, walking towards Diana. Diana let him hold her and stare into her eyes.

"That was great wasn't it. You are just,great!"

Diana smiled and pulled away whilst answering "Yes, it was…." She turned away from him making the bed, the smile she had just had fading from her face. She walked towards their bedroom window, staring outside, mesmerised by the raindrops hanging from the ledge. Diana studied the detail of the day, taking in every cloud, every crash of a raindrop, every effect the win had on the trees surrounding their home.

"What a beautiful day" She smiled, gazing out into the gloom. Diana could make the darkest situations look like sunshine in her eyes.

Dan had began searching for something in his draw and turned to Diana, half paying attention.

"Yeah, beautiful" He said without a trace of enthusiasm.

Diana watched him as he turned back around searching in his draw. She walked out of the room downstairs to find Natalie packing her school bag. The red from Natalie's eyes had gone and the bags, although still there, were not as obvious as the night before. She seemed slightly perkier as she pulled out a slip of paper from her bag. She gland at her mother, as Diana pulled out bread from the cupboard.

"So…" Natalie said, breaking the ice. "I have finally got a date for my final recital. I think some colleges want to come see the talent performing, so…." Natalie looked at her mother for a reaction. Diana was in a world of her own, smiling to herself, at times glancing at Natalie, but not taking in what she was saying. Natalie watched her mother and finally finished. "…..Do you think you can come?"

Diana smiled at her daughter, taking the note from her and reading it. She handed the slip back to Natalie and smiled, getting back to her work.

"Sure, Put it on the calendar"

"The calendars still On april of last year" Natalie sighed, waiting for a reaction.

"Happy easter!" Diana Giggled and carried on making lunches. Natalie sighed and yelled:

"Happy easter Mom!" As she ran upstairs to fetch her books.

Diana stopped what she was doing as Gabe entered the room. They greeted each other good morning. Diana was always more alert when Gabe was in the room and she was aware of this. She loved him so much. She loved Dan and Natalie, but she felt a connection with Gabe that felt…Normal. Diana found herself questioning this sometimes. Was her family normal? Did she love Gabe more then Natalie? Diana never understood Natalie. Diana was wild and free at her age. She was not afraid of risks, she had tons of boyfriends, even if none of them ever really meant anything to her, she had the memories and she treasured those. School seemed like a distant memory now, but her life outside of school and the fun she had and the people she met during that time did not. Natalie was missing out on so much. She was proud of Natalie and she knew she had a feeling for her, but was it love? What is love? Diana would question herself, but it always came back around to how she felt about her son. This was a time when she felt normal, she loved her son, she did not always see eye to eye with her daughter, but maybe this is how normal families are.

Natalie reflected on her family, as Diana did that morning. Are we normal? Natalie thought. Her music would repress such thoughts, she grabbed her sheet music and gazed at it, trying to distract herself. Natalie made sure all her thoughts were out of her head before she came downstairs. Today was no different from any other day, she thought to herself. She would get her lunch and catch the early bus to school so she could practise. Natalie walked into the kitchen. Diana was placing bread on the floor, frantically emptying the bag, buttering every slice. She would at times glance at Gabe, who standing by the door, Natalie who stood in shock, rubbing her temples to try and calm her down. Dan edged towards her, grabbing her arm.

"Honey…"

"What?" Diana smiled. "I'm making the lunches! You two, Go to school!" Natalie looked at her mother, hurt filling her eyes. The shock never seemed to ease, although this was one of the minor things that Diana had done.

"GO!" Diana laughed. Dan pulled her up from the ground gently.

"You go. Don't worry. We are going to go see the doctor. Everythings ok." He said reassuringly looking at Natalie.

Diana watched Gabe leave, and Natalie took a final sad stare at her mother and at her dad"

"Natalie. Please. It's ok. You go…..Have a good day" Dan stared at his daughter before she nodded and slowly opened the door shaking and soon she was out of site. Dan looked at Diana.

The realisation of what she had done started to settle in. She looked at the floor and at Dan. Reality and fantasy began running through her mind. What was real and what was not? She looked at Dan as he led her towards a chair to sit her down. She sat and watched him as he picked up his phone.

"Dr, It's Mr Dan Goodman….Yes….Immediately."


	2. Chapter 2

Natalie sat on the bus, reading her physics book. Everything that had just happened kept making appearances in her head, but before Natalie could make it become too much, she made her eyes focus on the words in the book. She kept reading and reading, the same line, over and over. She squeezed her eyes together and opened them, looking out the window. What had she just read? She tried to remember the sentence….Nothing. She read again and again. Nothing. She gave up and closed her book. She pulled out her headphones from her bag. She pressed play….Nothing. _Shit. _She had forgot to to charge her ipod. She threw it back in her bag and rested her head on the seat, closing her eyes.

A boy sat in the seat across from her aisle in the bus. The bus was empty apart from the two of them. He couldn't help but glance at her. She always seemed stressed and lonely. He tried to think of a time when he had seen her laugh or with friends. He came up empty, before realising that other people probably thought the same thing about him, as he reflected on lonely lunch times and things he would rather be doing by himself. The boy coughed. He coughed again a little louder. 'What are you doing? This is a sad attempt at getting her atten-..' The boys thoughts were interrupted by something…

Natalie opened her eyes and sat up, looking over at the boy. Henry looked away, feeling himself going red. The bus came to a stop and Natalie grabbed her bag and rushed off before Henry could even comprehend what had just happened. He got his bag and slowly walked off the bus, making his way towards the school.

Natalie raced through the empty hall, practically running towards the practise room. Everything was still rushing through her head. _Mom. Homework. Gabe. Mom. Homework. Dan. Recital. Mom. Mom. Mom. _She ran into the practise room, not looking where she threw her bag. She started playing without a thought to what she was playing, letting the music take her thoughts somewhere else. Suddenly she found them intertwined. Music and home, her mind couldn't differentiate between the notes and her thoughts. She pressed her fingers to the keys harshly slamming her fingers on them, yet it still sounded perfect. Natalie couldn't even feel the pain, as she was playing so hard her fingers were becoming raw. Thoughts of Yale were coming into her head, fantasies of graduating and getting out of the school, where no one acknowledged her or understood the reasons why she isolated herself from them all. She kept on playing and playing until….

"Hey…..Sounds good"

Natalie froze, her fingers still on the keys. She lifted her hands off the keyboard and placed them nervously on her lap. Natalie did not recognise this boy. She was embarrassed, realising how harsh she was slamming her hands on the keyboard as the pain started to set in. She could't remember if she sounded good or not, she was only listening to her thoughts.

The boy waited for a response. When nothing came he said shyly "I'm Henry" And bravely, but awkwardly stuck out his hand.

"Natalie" She looked down, not wanting to make eye contact with this boy. Who was he? Why was he speaking to her? Was this a cruel joke from one of the guys in her class who found it so amusing that she liked her own company? Natalie looked at her hands. Bright red and blisters starting to form. She could see out the corner of her eye the boys hand, but didn't take it. The boy dropped his hand, casually trying to pretend it had not just happened. An awkward silence filled the practise room. Natalie's brain had frozen. She suddenly wasn't thinking about home or school anymore, but about the stranger who had just walked in on her practise session.

"Yeah…I know" The boy said.

"Thats…Creepy…That you know"

"We've gone to school together for like 6 years…" Natalie still looked down. She tried to remember a face, any familiar face from her classes. Nothing.

The boy could see she still did not know. "I sit behind you in like….4 classes"

"Thats also creepy"

The boy awkwardly looked down at his feet. "So…..Your in here a lot….Before school and after."

"Yes….Seven minutes" Natalie looked up at the boy for the first time. She felt a pain of guilt as she watched the boys face go from genuine interest to hurt and disappointment. Words rushed through her head as the boy who was now bright red, politely smiled and went to walk for the door.

"You give up WAY to easily" She nervously laughed and looked down embarrassed.

Henry turned around, no longer reaching for the door.

"Ermmmm" Was all he could say. "Your….Kind of a confusing person"

"You should meet my mother" Natalie laughed, not thinking about what she had just said. She began playing again, this time turning around to the boy whilst her fingers traced the keyboard. He walked over to her side as she played. Natalie broke eye contact and Henry pulled up a chair and sat next to her. She stopped playing and looked at him, smiling for the first time in months. Henry, seeing her reaction smiled and without knowing it, he was studying her.

Natalie looked at him, no longer smiling but nervous.

"What sort of music do you play? Besides classical that is?" Henry asked, realising that if was going to keep staring, they would have to talk.

"Just classical…For now….I am practising for a recital and i'm focusing on Mozart. What about you."

"Oh, cool." Henry said, not knowing what to say as it became apparent he didn't know anything about classical. "I like Jazz music. I like all music to listen too….But i play jazz. I like writing my own stuff too….Do you write?"

" No…I mean..I used too but….School and homework and my_ Mo-" _Natalie thought she had said too much. Who was she to burden a total stranger about her family problems? She looked at the boy for his reaction. He was smiling. Really smiling at her and looking at her like no one had looked at her before….Like she was important or even special. This time, Natalie didn't look away and looked back at him.

"Yeah…" Was all Henry said, staring at her still. "It must be hard….I mean….Yeah.." Henry said, not really understanding. They kept on looking at each, Both shy, yet neither of them too conscious of the fact that they were just looking at each other anymore when the bell rang.

A look of disappointment shot across Henry's face, along with the panic that Natalie felt, although she was not entirely sure why. A line had started to form outside the music room, as a class would soon start in there. Henry searched for something, anything to say, as Natalie packed away her music, glancing up at Henry, waiting for him to say something. _Anything!_

_"Tomorrow!" _Henry yelled, not intentionally raising his voice. "We….Us…We can talk tomorrow….If you want…I will show you that i can play…I mean what i play…Jazz….I will play Jazz music tomorrow"

Natalie found herself unable to control her smile.

"That sounds great….Henry" She said, feeling awkward about saying his name for the first time. "I would love to hear you play"

"Great. I will see you tomorrow…Or around school…I'll walk you to your class…"

"Ermmm." Natalie suddenly felt awkward again. "You don't have to do that, but i will defiantly see you tomorrow and maybe later today…..Goodbye Henry" She smiled and walked out the room. The class began walking in as Henry stood there feeling quiet heady from what had just happened. A smile brushed across his face as he battled his way through the crowd and out the class.

Natalie got her books from her locker and pulled out three of her music books she had bought as practise. Classical, Classical, Jazz. She wiped the front of it off, as she had not played it in years, it had become a home to dust. She smiled as she held it. She used to love playing jazz. The words of her piano teacher came back into her head.

'If you want to go anywhere, if you want to succeed as a pianist, Classical is the way to go. Do you think these composers just made this stuff up? No. It takes hard work, you are going to work hard, do not throw it all away on Jazz music, that takes little talent' Natalie shut the book. Those words didn't seem so wise anymore. She put the books in her bag and went to her next class. All day was thought about music she loves, composers, artists and pieces in which she wanted to share with Henry. All traces of Diana had gone from her mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Diana walked into the doctors office. It was a pure white, unnaturally white small room. Doctor Fine sat at his computer and looked up as Diana walked in and took her usual seat. She looked at Dr Fine smiling at him.

"Hello Mrs. Goodman" He said using what Diana recognised as 'The professional comforting voice'

"Oh please…Call me Diana…." Diana said laughing, swinging on the wheels of her chair from side to side whilst clutching her purse.

"Well…" Dr Fine said trying to stay professional. "So, what seems to be the problem. Tell me how you feel. What happens before these episodes?" He stopped abruptly seeing the look on Diana's face. She was no longer smiling but seemed to have zoned out.

"Mrs. Goodman?" Diana looked up smiling again, continuing to spin on her chair.

"Ok…" Dr Fine said conforming himself and clicking on to his computer. "I am prescribing you with several tablets, these should help with your depression."

Diana still continued to stare at him without saying much, looking at him in awe.

"It starts every morning…" She began. "I wake up and they are all there."

"Who is there?" Dr Fine asked, turning away from his computer and wheeling his chair round to Diana.

"All of them!" Diana smiled wheeling her chair closer to the doctor. "Dan. Gabe. Its perfect."

Dr Fine had no emotion on his face. He picked up his clipboard and started writing notes. He paused and looked at Diana again. "….And then?" The doctor asked, trying to discreetly distance himself from her.

"Well….Thats when its not so perfect."

"You say everyone is there. Your husband and your son…You have a daughter, is that correct?"

"Natalie, yes" Diana said, her smile fading slightly. She dropped her gaze and started playing with the handles of her purse. "She is there, of course. But thats when…It's not so perfect. Thats when i remember. I have a daughter…I never forget about her of course. Not really. She is always somewhere in my mind. But something about her reminds me of…..Why i am here?"

"Why you are here?" Dr Fine asked.

"Why i am here. In this room." Diana finished.

"Hmm" Dr Fine started writing notes again and turned to his computer, finishing what he had begun. He printed a series of prescriptions off and handed them to Diana. He started describing a series of pills, what colours should not be taken with that shape, what size should be taken with that colour, what dose should be taken of this size….Diana started zoning out again, although she was still fixated on the doctor. It all sounded the same to her. Her mind wandered to a different life. Life with the doctor. He listened to her, he understood. He looked her in the eye with concern as she told him her problems. He made her feel welcome. Relaxed. he started smiling once again at him. Dr Fine became aware of this, feeling uncomfortable he turned away back to his desk.

Henry locked up his bike and walked to the practise room. He paused opening the door. He had missed the early bus and didn't want to walk in on Natalie playing again. He peered though the vertical window in the door. No one was in there. He walked in the practise room and sat at the piano, trying to remember the song Natalie had been playing. He eventually remembered every note. She played it perfectly and he could recite the detail in his head. He ran his fingers along the keys and began trying to play. _Dun, dun _engggggg. Not quite. He tried again. _Dun dun, DIN, dun, dun…._

_"Are you playing….?"_

Henry quickly started improvising, making up the medley as he turned around. He stopped and spun round on the stool when he made eye contact with Natalie. She wasn't smiling, but she wasn't sad either. A smug smirk spread across her face.

"Just…Made it up. Sorry, it's your session. Do you still want to join sessions, I'll leave if you want" Henry attempted a shy smile through his blushing. His clumsy nervousness showed, as he accidentally pressed a few keys as got up. Natalie smiled, just at shy. Five minutes ago she had been a nervous wreck, as her dad dropped her off to school whilst on the way to drop her mother off at her appointment.

"No. I mean, carry on." Natalie smiled, watching Henry nervously turn round to the piano. He took a deep breath and started playing. Why was he so nervous? He played for his family, his brothers, he played at old peoples homes just to make some money and in small bars where he had to lie about his age. Why in front of this girl, was he nervous? He took another deep breath and started playing, anything that popped into his head. He played for a few minutes before turning his head to Natalie grinning.

"So you like classical?"

Natalie just nodded and smiled.

_"Why?" Henry smiled in mock disgust._

Natalie couldn't help but smirk. "It's beautiful. When you.." She paused, starting to think about her playing. "If i ever get it right, it sounds perfect. It clears my thoughts." Natalie looked down to her hands. It was easy for her to remember everything that was wrong in her life. Songs, smells, anything triggered bad memories of something that happened, and she knew it. These things triggered bad thoughts, like they did her mothers memory of her dead son.

Henry stopped playing turning towards her, his face suddenly serious.

"You have a lot to think about?" He asked, sensing something was wrong.

Natalie suddenly looked up at him, attempting to smile. "Yes actually." she said quietly. "My family…." She stopped again, looking into the eyes of this boy she hardly knew. "I have a piano recital soon and it pretty much determines whether i get into Yale or not. I was hoping to graduate early." She looked back down into her hands. Henry was quiet. He slowly and gently touched her forearm, his heart pounding, not knowing how she would react. He gently grabbed her hand, showing her he was comforting her.

"Are you sure thats what you were going to say?" He said looking at her.

"No. It wasn't." Natalie smiled looking at him. "It's ok" She said getting up, suddenly very aware that he was holding her hand.

"You can say Natalie. What were you going to -"

"Henry, no. My life is fucked up and when i am here, when i play it's not. I don't know you and you don't need….Or want to know. You wouldn't understand." Natalie said getting frustrated. Henry watched as Natalie rushed to her bag as she tried to think of an excuse to leave.

He quickly stood up, rushing to neil down to where she sat looking through her bag.

"I want to be your….friend Natalie. I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me. But know i am here."

Natalie stopped looking in her bag and looked up at Henry. She had finally calmed down. She attempted to laugh it off, more laughing out of relief. She nodded and got up, walking back to the piano.

Natalie watched Henry shakily walk back the piano. She was no longer nervous around him, as all she could feel was the stress coming back. She looked at Henry who looked just as distressed, She felt bad about yelling at him so harshly. She had come to a conclusion about Henry. She watched him in class when she could, looked for him at lunch, and when he left school. When he wasn't looking for her back and the awkward eye contact was met, she realised that he was very much like her. Always alone and looking sad. He usually was reading something on modern art or music. She noticed when his name was mentioned, which was rare, unless one of the boy in her class was laughing at him because of something dorky he might have said in class, or laughing at the fact that he was never was seen with a girl, unlike those who were with a new partner every week. He was just as misunderstood and secluded from everyone then she was. Guilt set in as she studied the stress she had caused by denying him as her friend.

"Play for me" She said, seeing the still worried and desperate expression on Henrys face. He walked back over to the piano. Natalie pulled up her stool close to him, so she was also sitting at the piano with him. He looked at her and smiled and began playing. Natalie watched him and he sometimes looked back at her to see her expression. He smiled brightly at her again, his cheerful confidence suddenly making another rare appearance. She smiled back at him, thankful for this new person in her life. Natalie let her thoughts take her away with the music. This time, her thoughts were relaxed, thinking about how selfless her new friend was.

The bell eventually went, as they took turn improvising, laughing at the random songs they came out with, occasionally writing the notes down.

Natalie looked at Henry, as he grabbed his books and his bag, unsure of where he stood with her. She walked over to him, as he just watched unsure of what she was going to do. She walked right up to him and hugged him.

"Thank you" She shyly said.

Henry put his arms round her, a delayed reaction out of shock.

"Anytime" He gulped. "And i mean it, I am here."

Natalie smiled. "See you at lunch Henry. I've booked the practise room." Natalie turned away and grabbed her bag, walking out the practise room. Henry couldn't control his smile as he slowly packed his bag, getting ready to leave.

**I hope you like it so far. Sorry if it is a little TOO true to the story, i want to stay as true to the characters as possible, yet give them more of a background. Please review! I have already wrote the next chapter, as i had to cut this one in two as it was a bit too long for one chapter! I have tried to show the more vulnerable side of Henry and Natalie, the innocence before all the more intense stuff that later happens in the chapters so far. ENJOY :) **


	4. Chapter 4

"How has your current medication effected you before Mrs Goodman" He asked, looking at the long list drugs he had prescribed to Diana

'I have lost my appetite yet gained weight" Diana sighed wiping her forehead. The medication was making her go hot and cold, making her face go blotchy. She slumped in her chair with one hand on her head.

"Ok, well that is a natural side effect, nothing to worry about. Your body will start getting used the drugs and reacting to them better. I would like to know about how you feel Mrs Goodman. How have the drugs effected you emotionally?"

Diana sighed feeling the room spinning. She clutched the chair with her other hand. "I feel ill constantly. I have a constant headache which gives me blurry vision. I just feel numb. Everywhere."

Dr Fine scribbled this information down.

"Mrs Goodman" He said patiently. "Emotionally. How do you feel?" He tried again.

Diana sighed. "I have less anxiety."

"Good" Dr Fine said positively whilst writing it down. "And your family? How have things changed? Any illusions? Feelings you would like to share?"

"No. I don't feel anything." She stared off into space, a feeling of emptiness inside of her. "Nothings happened." She missed the emotion. Not the hurt, but the ability to feel something.

Dr Fine looked up from his clipboard carefully. He tried to read the expression on Diana's face. "And…Your son?"

Diana had no emotion on her face. She clutched the chair tighter. The pounding headache numbed all of her emotion. "Nothing" She said simply.

Dr Fine paused. "And Your daughter?"

A scowl crossed Diana's face. Where had Natalie been lately? She could admit to herself that yes, her and Natalie barely spent time together unless neither of them could avoid it, but she could not remember Natalie round the house lately. She couldn't remember passing her on the stairs. No discreet creeks of the floorboards as Natalie sneaked downstairs to study late at night. No repetitive melody running through the house or loud crashes as she hit the keyboard in frustration. Where had she been lately?

Dr Fine watched Diana try and think in frustration. He looked at Diana, deciding it was time for to change the question before any discomfort started to settle in Diana.

"And your husband?" Diana composed herself, no longer thinking of Natalie.

"I have no desire for sex." She simply said. Dr Fine looked at Diana as she suddenly seemed more alert then she had in the session. "But i can't blame everything on the medicine" she laughed, looking intensely at the doctor.

"I'm sure that is the medicine." Dr Fine smiled.

"Thats very sweet of you" Diana blushed, "But my husbands waiting in the car"

Dr Fine could feel himself burning up, he turned away abruptly, as if not hearing what Diana had just said.

"Well that concludes todays session Mrs Goodman. Keep taking your medication regularly, our next appointment is on this card. Ring this number if you have any problems you feel may be out of the ordinary"

Diana grabbed the card and out in her bag, blushing at the doctor and walked out of the office. She made her way to the car where Dan was waiting for her. She opened the door not saying anything to Dan with the faint smile on her face.

"How was it? How are you" Dan said, not looking at Diana, but pulling out of the doctors.

"You know…" Diana simply replied.

Four months had gone by and Natalie still met up with Henry every morning and lunch. It had gotten to the point where there was rarely a moment when they were not together. Things had gotten more comfortable. Henry could still sense the deep distress that was in Natalie and Natalie knew he sensed this. He would stop playing and look at her intensely, then deep concern taking over his facial features and ask: "Is everything ok?" Sometimes they would just sit there in silence, something in which they had both become comfortable with. Natalie would just smile, not wanting to lie to him. Henry would usually then do something to make her laugh, attempting at playing one of the complicated classical pieces and getting it all wrong, or even just playfully nudging her with his shoulder. Nothing was better at home. Natalie still felt invisible, but she was much happier. Henry had made her feel special for the first time in her life, even if she wasn't quite aware of it yet. Henry felt the same.

Henry's life was just as lonely. Him and his dad barely spoke to each other. It's every dads dream for their son to play sports and Henry never could find interest in it. He was too clumsy and quite honestly, didn't have the aggression that was needed in sports. One of his brothers was married and the other had already graduated college, leaving him the only child at home. His mother he loved very much. He had a great relationship with her, but like Henry, she also had a trying relationship with his dad, spending most of her life trying to please and accommodate to his needs, leaving little time to get to know who her son had turned out to be or how secluded he had become. She loved her sons more then anything, but treasured Henry. She recognised how harsh his father could be on him, which made her let Henry off with a lot of behaviour that she would never have let her other two sons out of. Henry went through a faze where he would come home with his shoes covered in paint. It was not until she found the spray cans in the trash that she realised what he had been up to. She suitably walked up to him one day and said:

"Henry."

"Hey mom" He said greeting his mother.

"Your shoes are really dirty honey, what have you been doing?" She paused and walked into the hallway with her arms crossed, watching her son try and think of an excuse. She shook her head disapprovingly. "I am proud you Henry. And i am glad you take interest in the arts." She stopped looking talking, waiting for her sons reaction. "I won't have a Banksy wannabe living in my house."

Henry blushed, feeling a panic come over him.

"Stop." His mother said grabbing his arm. "Give me your shoes." Henry took off his shoes, not knowing what punishment was in store.

"Your father would be so angry if he found out."

Henry just kept on looking at his mother in shock. He couldn't lie to his mother, not just because he was bad at it, but because he didn't have the heart.

" Go to your room, do it again and i have to tell him sweetheart." She said firmly. Henry didn't say anything and wrapped his arms around his mom.

"Sorry" He whispered and ran upstairs.

Although Henry never wanted to take advantage of what his mother let him get away with, boredom swept over him and he found himself lonely in the house one day. Everyone was out and Henry was walking down his hall. He had been begging his mom and dad to give him his brothers old room, since it was unlikely he would be returning, but they had still said no. He opened his brothers room and stepped inside. He knew his brother had a vintage guitar that he hadn't taken with him and he was desperate to find it. He searched his room, finding nothing, eventually reaching under the bed and pulling out two guitar cases. He opened the first one. GOT IT! he thought, zipping it back up quickly, paranoid that someone would return home any minute. He grabbed the guitar and also grabbed the other case, trying to remember his brother buying this one. As he picked the second one up, the neck of the case collapsed, bending down where the body of the guitar would be. He shook the bag. Something was in there. He brought both cases back to his room and lay the second case on his bed whilst he stored the guitar in his wardrobe. He slowly unzipped the case, expecting to find a few books or sheet music, or even some stupid college photos his brother didn't want anyone to see. Henry finished unzipping the bag and found something he never expected to see in his house. A bong and a stash of weed. A grin spread across Henrys face at the thought of his brother smoking weed. How did he have the guts? And in his dads house! Henry studied the device not quite sure how it worked. He picked up the tiny stashes inside the case, studying the content, turning the little bags in his hand. He looked back and fourth between the two. Did he dare? He looked at the clock. It was very unlikely that his parents would be home yet, but he was still unsure. Henry picked up the bong and walked over to his computer. He was embarrassed that he had to google how to do it, as he followed the instructions. He looked at what he had just set up, getting ready to inhale. Thats when everything changed. Henry no longer felt anxious, just relaxed, euphoric. He hadn't meant for the habit to continue, as he found himself buying it off older kids at school, but it was the only thing that distracted him from his loneliness. It was his only friend.

Henry sat on his inhaling from the bong. Natalie sat next to him, watching him take it in, his shyness seeming to fade away with every exhale. She didn't know why, but she couldn't help but smile slightly at how relaxed he had become. Henry turned to her smiling through the smoke.

"I feel so guilty. Your mom is like, in the next room and you have the nerve to smoke it" Natalie quietly said.

"HA, She's in denial" Henry laughed, knowing this was true. She didn't want to admit her son may have a problem and she didn't want to deal with the arguments with her husband and the upset it would cause Henry as his father would most likely order him out the house.

Henry looked at Natalie, who looked a little dumbfounded. "Dude, its therapeutic" He giggled.

"Right, it's medical marijuana to cure your ADD." Natalie smiled, repeating what Henry had told her before he had lit up.

"Ha, totally" Henry laughed. He looked confused her again, realising he didn't know what she was talking about. "What?" Henry smiled and held out the bong and lighter to Natalie.

"I don't put anything into my mouth thats on fire" She said, not moving away.

"That seems like a good rule." Henry smiled and leaned into her, the smile fading as he closed the distance between them. Thoughts ran through Natalie's head. What was she doing? He was her friend? She liked him, sure. She had been repressing the thoughts of Henry like that, as hard as it was to repress them at times. His face got closer and closer to hers, until:

"I can't" She turned from his face, leaving Henry confused. They were so close. "My life is one fuck up from disaster. You don't want to get dragged into my problems."

"Your life is not a disaster." Henry said, not quite sure where he was going with this. "Sprint is a disaster." He said without thinking, marijuana blocking his thought process.

"Your stoned" Natalie sighed.

Henry just nodded seriously.

"Well, it's not." He put down the bong, realising he may have gone too far with it, suddenly wishing he had not taken any. "You worry about school and music. And i know something else is wrong with you, you just won't tell me. But the world. It's fucked Nat. Kids are dying in africa and shit. We are so selfish…"

Natalie looked at him unsure. What was he saying?

"Global warming is a fucking disaster, We are killing our planet but we worry more about plastic surgery….War."

"What are you talking about?" Natalie sighed, feeling an urge to leave.

"I am trying to tell you i love you!" Henry sighed. He got up and stood in front of her, placing his hand on her arm.

"This is fucked up." Natalie said, starting to panic. She felt like he could see her, all of her. Every problem she had, every imperfection about her. He could see it in her right now. She knew he was stoned, but what he was saying some how made sense to her. Because she felt it too.

"Your perfect." Natalie looked at him in shock. "The world is fucked up. A fucked up place. But since i've met you, you have made me realise it is worth living. That i have a purpose."

"You have a nerve." Natalie said turning away overwhelmed by the sudden display of emotion, as Henry grew more confident in his stoned self.

Henry could see how nervous she had become. "Everything is going to be fucked Natalie. WE don't have to be. Your the only thing in my life that doesn't hurt and i think you can say the same."

"Henry" Natalie started, feeling herself welling up with emotion, She felt the same somewhere inside of her, but her family had messed with her emotions and he knew this. "I will freak out. My mother…Stress." She finished, not wanting to go there at this moment. "This…if we did have a relationship. I would freak out. We would fight all the time and it would be my fault. I will make you hate me Henry and i don't want that."

Henry touched her arm again gently but firmly, pulling her nearer.

"I'll walk you home" He said.

They walked to her house in silence, walking shoulder to shoulder. Natalie could see Henry keep glancing down at her, trying to read her expression. They got out side the street in front of Natalie's house.

"Natalie." He said plainly, the silence killing him. The walk seemed to have somehow sobered him up. "I know something is wrong. With your family. I know something happened in costco once." He saw the shock on Natalie's face.

"I don't know the details, one of the guys announced it in the locker room once, he worked there. Shit talking as usual, looking for anyone to laugh at…." He admitted. "But i can see you have a hard time. I don't care Natalie. I don't care what troubles you might bring. I love you so much. I want to help you. Since i've met you, everything seems to make sense. The world seems a little less fucked up and cruel since i've met you. I promise you Natalie, i will never abandon you and i will always be your best friend first, i will be whatever you need me to be for you. I will be perfect for you Nat."

Natalie could almost feel both their hearts thumping. They had suddenly become very close to each other, as Natalie sub-consciously had taken tiny steps so she was almost pressed against him. She looked at Henry. The reason she felt that he could see every emotion and worry she had, was because he could. He took the time to care. She wasn't invisible to him.

"I will be perfect for you Henry" She said meaning it.

Henry leaned in slowly, giving her a chance to change her mind and not wanting to offend her again. Natalie leaned in pulling him closer until both their lips were touching. They both felt relief rush through them, as their subconscious minds knew this may be something that was going to just go away. It felt right. Natalie lightly touched his chest and he pulled away, gently taking her hand.

"Nice house" Henry smiled, looking at the building. "Can i come in?"

Reality sunk in for Natalie, as she glanced at her house and back at Henry.

"Oh. My NO!" She said, trying to be playful, but with a serious undertone.

"O…K" Henry smiled.

"What are we doing?" Natalie smiled, leaning back into Henry. "We are crazy." She laughed nervously. `"THIS, is crazy!"

"Maybe it is." Henry smiled and kissed her again. "I will see you at school….And Nat" He said, just as they were about to break away from each other. "I meant what i said. I love you." He lightly almost whispered to her, before kissing her one last time.

Natalie watched him go and opened the door to her house. All pain and problems had momentarily gone from her life, and she knew that when they ace back, Henry would be there. When the time was right, she would tell him everything, but for the time being, he didn't have to know anything, she was enjoying the numbness she felt when with him.

She gazed up at her house before entering. She felt the numbness slipping away and thoughts of Henry were now mixed with what may be in store when she stepped inside the house.


	5. Chapter 5

Diana leant against the cold window pain, her head being soothed from the coldness of the glass. She could feel a presence behind her. She turned around and there was Gabe. She hadn't seen him in weeks, but there he was, standing behind her with a smirk.

"Are you spying on them" He smirked, taking his headphones from out his ear. Diana turned in shock. She looked back out the window as Natalie made the way to the door. She watched the boy she had just seen her daughter share her first kiss with timidly watch Natalie walk to her door, not wanting to take his eyes off her for a second. She smiled at his sweetness. She could see so much innocence in them and potential happiness. Diana's head started spinning, everything going cloudy and black in her head again.

"Do you think they are in love?" She half smiled, slightly nervous of what her son would answer.

Gabe laughed and looked out on them.

"Who knows. They are young. They are horny!" He put his headphones back in and strolled off. Diana let the dizziness and black take over her again as Natalie walked in the door.

Natalie nervously stepped inside, catching her mothers eye. She could feel her face burning up wit red as the realisation that her mother had just witnessed her kissing this boy. Diana opened her mouth, not sure what she was going to say, but Natalie kept her head down and ran to her room.

Natalie opened her door and sat on her bed, her head spinning from the events of the day as she couldn't stop thinking of Henry. She kicked off her shoes and lay down, drifting into a peaceful deep sleep, where for once they weren't interrupted by nightmares of school or her mother losing control.

Diana sat in her bathroom, her head mixed with thoughts of Henry and Dan, until she couldn't differentiate the two. She pictured Natalie's blushing, burning red cheeks and the beautiful smile that spread across her face when Henry had kissed her. That was her once. Diana felt a dull ache in her heart. That was over. Her ability to let herself love like that again had died with her son. She felt a gloom coming over her as she remembered her younger days, unafraid and daring to take risks.

Diana stared into the medicine cabinet, looking at the assortment of pills. She slowly picked them up, bottle by bottle and dazily emptied the content into the toilet, one by one, and flushed them away. Diana couldn't help feel a tiny spark of hope at the sight of the different colours of the pills disappearing. Maybe things would be real now.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm only updating because i got a lovely review and it motivated me to actually finish this story!

PLEASE keep reviewing guys, if i think no ones reading, i don't bother updating. :)

Diana was n the kitchen cooking pasta, the windows steaming up from the heat of the cooker made it almost impossible to see out of them.

"How was your day at school?" She asked Gabe.

"Pretty good" He casually replied smiling at his mother. "Are you cooking my favourite?"

Diana smiled, not replying. The phone rang and she picked up to hear the voice of Dan. Lately he has been thrilled at her progress. She had been more lively, she smiled…She was youthful again. Dan felt like the years of pain and agony were a distant memory. Things could only get better.

Diana spoke to him about her day, listing the tedious house chores she had been doing with such excitement and passion, Dan wasn't even listening to her…All he could hear was the tone of her voice and he couldn't wait to come home to the women he fell in love with.

The bus driver opened his doors for her. She stood still, blankly looking inside the bus.

"In or out?" The driver asked. Natalie shook her head and put her headphones in as she watched the bus pull away. She began walking home, taking every path that would make her journey home a little bit longer. Natalie had been walking for about 5 minutes. She passed the alley her dad had always told her not to go down when she was younger , walked backed and stopped in front of it. No flicker on emotion went through her apart from curiosity, as she started making her way through the long, shaded alley. She passed a homeless man with his hood up who seemed to be faceless, all she could see was grey stringy hair growing out of the dark green, dirty coat he was wearing. This made her up her pace a bit realising that maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. She slowly took out her head phones, listening for anyone getting closer. She could hear slow foot steps, slowly getting faster. She began walking faster, then realising that the steps were getting nearer, running. The person was getting closer behind her, she picked up her pace, so fast she thought she was going to fall over. The person was looming over her now, she could see the person reach out and grab her arm. She screamed and turned to face the stranger who had grabbed her and the shadowy figure backed away, startled.

"It's me!" The figure yelled, leaning against the wall out of breath. "Natalie…"

"Oh my god." She breathed. "What the hell are you doing…?"

"I saw you missed the bus, i was gonna run to you, but i forgot…Some stuff. I went to catch up with you and saw you come down here from down the street. What are you thinking coming down here"

"I do it all the time…." She lied, blushing.

"Sure.." Henry giggled, still catching his breath. "People get mugged, raped, and god knows what down here Nat."

"Yeah well, i won't be going this way again." She snapped, slightly irritated.

"Come on," Henry said, grabbing her hand. This took Natalie by surprise. He never usually just grabbed her hand. Her anger was non existent, however her blush brightened up the alley. She could feel herself going red as she timidly held his hand. Natalie and Henry slowly walked back, having their usual argument about music and talking about silly innocent things that made them happy. They got to Natalie's and Henry looked at her. He stepped closer going to kiss her but Natalie looked down, paranoid that someone was watching from inside. They hadn't kissed since Diana caught them. This hadn't bothered either of them, Natalie liked taking things slow, she had too much on her mind as it was and Henry just loved to be around Natalie. She was his best friend.

Henry looked at her with hopeful eyes, waiting for any response. Natalie looked down and back up at him.

"I'd let you in…But…It's too soon."

"We've been going out for 9 weeks ands 2 days" Henry announced, "Don't i get to meet your family?"

Natalie giggled and blushed. "You're so….The girl?" She laughed. Henry blushed, smirking too. …

A car pulled up on the drive, Natalie panicked and turned to Henry. "…No." She said panicking, desperately trying to think of a way to get him to go. It was too late. Dan was strolling over to them, a proud fatherly smile across his face. He stoke out his hand to shake Henrys and Natalie cringed. She froze as if he wouldn't see her.

"You must be Harry?"

"It's Henry" He smiled, not embarrassed at all, unlike Natalie.

"Well Natalie, it would be rude to not ask Henry to join is for dinner.." Dan patted Henry on back and Natalie followed, dreading what was about to happen.

Diana set the dinner plates down, smiling widely at Henry, whilst Natalie cringed at her mothers fondness of her boyfriend.

Dan quizzed Henry about his grades, how many siblings he had and what he wanted to do at college. Natalie could see by her fathers face what he was impressed and unimpressed by. Henry's grin didn't fade though, he was over the moon that he had met the people who created his favourite person in the world.

"I'm so glad you could join us tonight Henry, this is such a special night and we're glad you're here" Henry smiled widely, as Natalie cringed. Her mother could be over the top sometimes.

Diana disappeared from the room as Dan and Henry carried on chatting, Natalie sitting in the middle quietly, occasionally rolling her eyes at her dads questions. Suddenly, the room went dark and everything silent.

"IT'S SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY!" Diana shouted, slowly entering the room with a giant cake. Natalie Froze, Henry smiled and whispered, "Who's birthday is it?."

Dan stood up, his eyes full of emotion, looking at Diana as if she was the only one in the room. Diana saw his face and kept smiling, forcing herself to smile…._This is real,_ she kept telling herself.

Henry was still looking at Natalie, examining the pain across her face. She was still staring at her mother…She felt like she was in agony…"My brothers" She said loudly.

Henry raised his eyebrows…"I didn't know you had a brother."

"I don't!" Dan was still starring at Diana, who was focusing on the cake still smiling so hard it looked painful.

"He died before i was born…" Henry examined the family. He was confused, but some how everything with Natalie seemed to make sense now. This wasn't an ordinary family.

Natalie stood up, hating the silence. "This fucked!" She yelled.

"Language" Dan snapped, now looking at his daughter.

"Fuck this!" Natalie ran to her bedroom, leaving Henry sat there. He slowly got up and nervously went after her, before running back in the kitchen…

"It was lovely to meet you both…." and ran off towards Natalie, following the sound of stomps and crash of the door.


End file.
